Hey! Hey, you know what I did? I went out and bought more of those Just Bitten lipsticks by Revlon and took a bunch of photos of me wearing them so you can see how they look on a darker person.
(Also, please note that this post is NOT SPONSORED. I will never, ever do that sponsored shit to you unless I’m super hard up for cash, because it makes me not trust bloggers. I paid for this stuff myself, and got paid zero dollars to write this.)
Alright, anyway, here I am about to post a lot more photos of my face, which is totally not what this blog needs, but I’m doing this FOR YOU. For you who hate the makeup counter ladies and who are not the color of a white piece of paper (so, that would be all of you), and thus cannot ascertain what a lipstick color looks like from the tube.
Here’s what I got:
Two of these are labeled as “balm stains” and look like crayons. Two of these are labeled “lip stain + balm” which sounds like THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING. But it’s not! Of course not, makeup marketers of America. How could those two things be the same? The lip stain MATH SYMBOL balm is like a little marker on one end with a lip balm (clear) on the other.
The colors here, from fingers to palm are: Smitten (balm stain), Honey (balm stain), Victorian (lip stain and balm) and Passion (lip stain and balm).
I put the colors on lightest to darkest, hoping it wouldn’t affect my regular lip color, and I scrubbed off the lipstick in between photos very scientifically, with a wad of toilet paper.
This is the lightest, Honey, which also happens to be my favorite:
I know, you can’t get over my attractive facial expressions.
Do you see how the tube color looks NOTHING LIKE the lipstick? Yeah, that. This is closest to my natural lip color, but with a little oomph.
Next up is Victorian, which was the first one I bought and really, really like. I like the “marker” part of the lip stain, and it stays on longer than regular lipstick.
Please don’t be jealous of that zit under my lip. We can’t have it all.
This is Smitten. I’m not smitten with it, but I’ll probably still use it.
Hey! It kind of matches the tube color. Whoa, scientists must have worked on that one.
And here is one I DO NOT LIKE. I do not know why I thought this would look good on me. It’s Passion.
I forgot to look grumpy or hold up the lipstick tube because chickens were attacking my feet looking for meal worms. That look in my eyes is the look I have before my fight-or-flight reflexes kick in and I start kicking birds to the ground. They clearly did not appreciate Passion either.
There. Now. I have to go put my hands over my face for the rest of the day.