You guys, it is a sad day when I admit that I think I am done with pulp romance for a while, especially the self-published stuff. My brain needs some quinoa and organic kamut, or what have you. This month was…not so good. Not so good at all.
(I’m only linking to books I liked, FYI, from here on out.)
I loved the beginning and the end of this book. The middle was weird, and with all fantasy, I find myself looking at all the plot holes, unwilling to suspend disbelief. It’s a good thing the end was so great. I am still thinking about the metaphor of the Black Thing. Lovely.
I started reading this book and was like, “Hey! This is funny!” And then I was like, “Hmm, this is really familiar.” And then I was like, “Wait, I’ve totally read this book already, haven’t I?” I had. It was still good.
25. The Rock Star in Seat 3A by Jill Kargman
I checked this book out of the library because I wanted a romance and I’d heard Kargman was a great writer. She has a fantastic voice and great writing skillz; it’s too bad she wasted it on this complete shit for a book.
I cannot remember reading this book, or anything about it, but I do remember enjoying it.
This numbered list is really out of order, because THIS is the last book I read in March. Like I’m going to renumber them? No. Anyhow, basically the perfect feminist romance. Okay, not perfect because it was too short and the romance was a little underdeveloped but GOODNESS she’s so fun and good I’ll overlook that any day.
Oh, wait, this was a pulpy, self-published book that was fantastic. It was FUNNY. It was WELL-WRITTEN. All the best to this author. She’s got talent.
29. On Dublin Street by Samantha Young
Why did I read this?
30. The Siren by Tiffany Reisz
I would rather poke my eyes out than reread any of this book. People RAVED about it, but I have to remember: 1) I do not read erotica and so, er, this was a little much for me, and 2) OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS PLOT WHAT THE HELL I NEED THERAPY. Ahem.
31. Reckless by S.C. Stephens
This was the last in the Kellan Kyle series of books, and while I didn’t quite enjoy the first two, I was still somehow hooked. If this book were first? I would have been unhooked. It was just…oh god, SO BAD. Not as bad as The Siren, but WOWZA. BAD. I feel like all these self-pubbed authors that get picked up by publishing houses are being steamrolled, or the publishing houses have the shittiest editors in the world. The voice and all the action was sucked out of this book. There was no hook. There was no conflict. There was absolutely no motivation to turn the page.
32. Flat Out Matt by Jessica Park
Flat Out Love was one of my favorite books of 2012, so I REALLY wanted to like this. I did not like this. Not even one little snippet of it. It was short, it was unenlightening, and the reader would be better off never having read it.
I’M SORRY. I hate that I hate so many books TOO. I want to clap and be happy for every author ever, but you know what? I’m kind of an asshole. BUT I’m an asshole that reads a lot of shitty books so you don’t have to.