Oh, hello there, darlings! I was just discussing navel gazing with Jesus H.
Have you met him?
He’s my new friend. The H. stands for, naturally, “Hanes.” He thinks his name has a Middle Eastern origin, but he’s not sure. We’re looking into it.
So, Jesus and I were just hanging out, eating raw vegan brie (Jesus doesn’t consume animal products), discussing how I’m completely done with navel gazing, both on the blog and in life. Because, get this, I had my navel surgically removed. It is no longer possible.
The thing I’ve been doing with my time instead of navel gazing, and recovering from the quite traumatic navel removal surgery, is figuring out how to do something really, really fun. And I think I know what it is. Are you ready?
MALARIA PARTY! There ain’t no party like a malaria party, unless it’s a dengue fever party, because both are transmitted through mosquitoes with similar symptoms!
Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. See, when I had navel removal surgery, I had to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life (unfortunately the surgery shortens life spans considerably, but I’m assured it was worth it AND I got a free eyebrow wax with it if I used my Groupon deal, which I did, because I’m no dummy). What I wanted to do was 1) have as much fun as possible and 2) try and make the world a teeny, tiny bit less sucktacular. Just a little. That’s where the MALARIA PARTY! comes in.
I think we, as a group, should get rid of malaria in Cambodia. Wooooo! Keg stand! That sounds pretty fucking fantastic, am I right? And I totally think we can do it.
First, the details:
See, malaria in western Cambodia is becoming drug-resistant, which is bad news, so organizations like the Gates Foundation and FHI 360 have the task of trying to make the entire country malaria-free, so that this drug-resistant strain doesn’t spread to other regions of the world.
Here’s a nifty graphic that makes things that are horrid look pretty:
So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to donate money to the organization mentioned up above, FHI 360. I’m going to donate 100% of proceeds from the sale of my book via Amazon and B&N (links down below) (no, you dirty bird, not THERE), from May 12th, 2014 to June 12th, 2014, to FHI 360. I’m also going to MATCH any of your donations to FHI 360, up to $1600. All you have to do is send me proof (a photo of a check you’re mailing in, with your bank info covered, naturally, or an email receipt, or…something else). I’ll post our final tally and the big old check I mail in to FHI 360 on June 12th.
You can donate directly to FHI 360 HERE: https://donatenow.
So, you can either give me $3.99 via my book and read it, or gift it, or you can just plain old donate, if you don’t want to buy my book. I promise, I do NOT care which way you choose to donate. If you can’t do either, maybe you can spread the word of this blog post to people who DO want to donate. Or you can send some good thoughts to Cambodia. Or you can send money to FHI 360 and not tell me about it! Who cares, right?
Goal: AT LEAST $3200 to FHI 360.
But I think we can do more, don’t you? Do it for the world, do it for Jesus, or do it for your deity.
(I found this article on the issue really helpful, too.)