I have a little problem. I am attracted to men with beards. Namely, this guy:
Wait, being attracted to my husband is not my problem. My problem is this.
ME: I saw a guy who looked just like you today!
ME: Yeah, I mean, he was bigger than you and he had different color hair and skin but I had to do a double-take because he looked JUST LIKE YOU!
GREGG: Did he have a beard? Is that why?
ME: YES! He had a beard! How did you know?
GREGG and ME’s children: Mom, you know you think all guys with beards look just like Dad. You tell him you see a guy who looks like him every single day. And it never looks like Dad. But he always has a beard.
GREGG: It’s true.
ME: IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU ALL LOOK THE SAME!
But really. I can’t tell beardy men apart from each other. THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME! THIS CAN’T BE JUST ME, CAN IT?
Uh….I’ll see you all later. I have to go scout the city for men with beards and take lots of photographs to prove my point. And stuff.