1. I failed to do the Friday Five on Friday because I’m kind of, sort of disorganized, and Friday always sneaks up on me. It’s tricky. Nevertheless, it’s never too late to have almost absolutely nothing to say and thus to compile a random list of things on the Internet. I think I just defined every single blog ever. (Not yours, of course.)
2 . Sometimes I run out of either funny or deep things to say, and then it’s like a train wreck and the Internet is silent while I talk. Like this:
For the record, I don’t think the secret to happiness is money. It’s sex.
3. I am reading the Outlander series, which, if you haven’t read it, is about a time-traveling woman from the 1940s who meets a handsome Scot in 1743 and they speak in Scottish a lot. No, I don’t mean Gaelic. I mean Scottish. As in, “I ken a verra bonnie lass oer inna heather witha dunbonnet thas in love witha Sassenach.” That means: I’d like some tea, please. I think. I don’t quite know what it’s about, since it’s all in Scottish, but it’s good. I think? Maybe? You should read it, especially if you have a thing for gingers. And if you don’t, you probably will because of the handsome Scot named Jamie.
Oh, and apparently there is a ginger backlash? Because these were some auto-fill results on Google.
Internet, you are weird, and moderately offensive. That’s probably why we get along so well.
4. Chicken book club is this Wednesday! I just remembered that. We read What Alice Forgot, which is about what Alice forgot. Duh. We’ll be on the twitter at 5pm PST discussing it. If you don’t want to read that, maybe you want to read my new fictiony blog with a touch of the Office Crush, but not quite, MotherFiver? Yeah? Yeah.
5. Lastly, I have two number fives. This is number five number one. What? I can do that. Number five number one is that I did a mayonnaise taste test, which I promised to do years and years ago. Or three months? It will be up tomorrow. It is much shorter than the white wine taste test, because mayonnaise is way grosser than white wine. I also failed to use my best mayonnaise joke, which was to use a banana as a palate cleanser. Because I am crude and my mom does not read this website. I hope. But I didn’t do it. So, oh well. There’s no way I’m eating mayonnaise again, so you’ll just have to picture it.
Number five number two is a very serious question. And that is: do you think Gregg looks like John Krasinski? And if so, does that mean I look like Emily Blunt? Yes, right?
TWINS!
I love the Outlander series. Love.
You are a dead ringer for Emily Blunt. Plus you’re funny. I don’t know if she’s funny. I still think it’s weird she’s married to John Krasinski, because my brain is stuck back in the time she dated (and, I believe, lived with) Michael Buble. I am thinking of the right people, yes? Ignore me if this is crazy rambling.
Also, I owe you an email. For like a week now. (Eek!) I’m not the writer you are, so don’t know where to start. Basically, I loved it, especially the ending. It was perfect.
5.2. I cannot believe how much you are couple twinsies. Identical I say!
5.1. I look forward to your mayonnaise tests. You are a brave woman. I do eat mayonnaise but only Hellmans, the one true mayonnaise. It is that or nothing. Do not try to convince me otherwise.
4. LOVE MotherFiver. But you left me hanging yesterday!!! Not cool, Shalini. Not cool.
3. I love the Outlander series. Well, she lost me on the last book or two. They just became too heavy (before kindle) and wordy. I do not care that much about the local fauna. And now I feel bad for gingers. My nephew is a ginger and is absolutely adorable.
2. Sex is the answer to happiness. And sleep. Depends on the day.
1. Random list is better than my sad and lonely blog that I have all but abandoned. Or maybe not “all but” maybe just abandoned is a better description.
I…think that Gregg’s beard looks like John’s beard. But YOU totally look JUST like Emily. Only prettier.
Also, I’m super jealous that Jess got to be a beta reader even though I got to be a beta reader earlier so I shouldn’t be jealous but I am anyway.
i think Gregg’s beard is nicer than John’s. and i’m a connoisseur of a (my husband’s) beard.
both sets are lovely couples, though. i love your glasses!
A dead ringer for Emily!
Uhh, doppleganger! You’re so right about Outlander – it got very religious at the end.
He looks like him from the nose down.