A History of My Hair

Have I ever mentioned that I hold the record for the largest number of bad haircuts in a lifetime? And I’m only in my mid-thirties, so I have SO MUCH TIME to make the record unbreakable.

Here, let me show you. (Are you sick of scanned in photos? TOO BAD. I have no words. WORDS. Who reads those anyhow?)

 

Here, I was nineteen months pregnant with Sachin. My hair looked perfectly fine before, but I thought that what my pregnancy needed was some really ugly hair. That always makes feeling like a whale more enjoyable.

See that top ponytail? Because I’m always fashionable. (The beautiful sleeping baby is Keshi at one month. He CAME OUT like that.)

I don’t even know.

Wait! WAIT! I haven’t even covered the 90s. Behold the power of curled under bangs:

 

Oh, that’s not that bad, I admit. But what about CROOKED bangs WITH an awkward top ponytail?

Would you be shocked if I told you that I cut my own hair right before my freshman photo? Color you surprised!

What can I say about this photo? Hairy arms? Hairy eyebrows? Boy haircut? Boy figure? Check, check, check and check! I told you I was mistaken for a twelve-year-old boy and now you know I actually was one. And before you ask, yes, I use a small nation’s worth of wax every month to not look like that anymore.

 

Behold, the piece de resistance:

Short! Fluffy! Parted bangs! There is nothing not horrifying here. And now you know why, unlike Zac Efron and Matthew Perry, I should never be seventeen again.

 

Comments

  1. says

    Bwahahahahahaha!!!! This is awesome :) You’re inspiring me to post pics of my own incredibly bad hairstyles… including the 1993 perm that never.went.away. Shudder!!!!!

  2. says

    It’s hard to focus on that last picture, I think because of the tears in my eyes, not due to the amazing photo.
    Yes, I used to think I was in the running for the world record of bad haircuts, but now realize I must give up my dreams of ever winning.

  3. says

    hahaha ooooh hair posts. We can all do a timeline of “bad” hair, I think….and the amazing thing was that it was so fashionable at the time! good grief. This is why we should never take ourselves too seriously – in a few years we will be mocking our old self anyway.

  4. says

    I swear I don’t think these are that bad. But I like the idea that we should never take ourselves too seriously. And also that no matter how good I think I look today, in 10 years I’ll think I looked like a dork regardless.

    Also, the sleeping tiny baby picture? LOVE!

  5. says

    This is such a beautiful post on so many levels! I can’t help thinking that it must have taken you quite some time to pull it all together. Is it weird to say thank you?

  6. says

    I nearly lost it because I thought you JUST DID THAT! Like, I literally yelled, “What the hell did she DO?” And Honey came running.

    Whew! Don’t cut your lovely lovely hair. Because it is lovely.

  7. says

    Do you see that you have inspired us all to post our bad hair styles? I think it’s an important part of our evolution as adults. Do you know what else!?!? I have finally broken myself of my terrible obsession with the top ponytail. All is good.

  8. says

    Shalini – you’re a braver soul than I am for sharing these pictures. I actually think short hair looks rather fetching on you – you have the face shape to pull it off. Oh, and as far as perms go, my mom would use her left over perming solution on me and my sister when we were younger. We had Asian fros – YAY

  9. says

    This was so fun! One thing is for sure – you have good hair!!! BTW, I am wearing a top ponytail, right now, see?!

  10. says

    I’d like to say I’ve avoided this kind of thing by never cutting my hair. (Seriously, I cut my hair like once a year.) But in actuality I just end up with overly long bad hair. So.