East Coast Man vs. Northwest Man

So I’ve been on the East Coast for a while now, and I can unequivocally say in my deep, scientific studies, that the East Coast Man is an entirely different species from the Northwest Man.


Observe the East Coast Man:

And the Northwest Man:

I don’t know which one I prefer. It certainly has been nice and weird to see all these attractive men in suits, even though there’s no one getting married and/or dying. But eh, who can resist a virgin with a ponytail, right?



  1. says

    Midwest man makes for a nice middle ground. (Although J is technically an East Coast man, since that’s where he was born). Midwest man is a settler-downer, wears jeans and some sort of tractor-related tee shirt (and often a belt), drinks beer, and works somewhere in the vicinity of 40 hours a week so he can spend more time drinking beer and cheering on college football teams. I quite like Midwest man, although his politics tend to be a little red for me.

    Also, beware the pointy shoes.

  2. says

    So I’ve done the East Coast man before (I’ll let you interpret that as you will). It would be nice to get a Northwest man in the mix. Are they nicer?

  3. says

    I don’t know where on the East Coast you are, but this is quite accurate. Except up here in New England we see fewer suits and more wool sweaters.

    Also, someday you should give Southwest Man a try. I was just there and redeveloped my appreciation. He’s mellow like Midwest Man (described above) but can wear cowboy boots unironically.

  4. says

    Other than the pointy shoes and bedding models, East Coast Man is my husband. We have plans to move to the west coast so that I can turn him into a West Coast Man (I’m working on converting him to a born-again-virgin).

  5. says

    You make great observations! You need to come to Cape Cod and observe the men here – also different.

  6. says

    “Who can resist a virgin with a ponytail” – one of the all-time best lines I’ve ever read.

    I lived in the…mid northwest for most of life. Totally different kind of man there! And I married a Mid-west man. Again, totally different. All have their good points and their bad points. And their sexy/frightening little quirks.

    Still sending you love, by the way.

  7. says

    This sounds about right to me! I’ve been told I should go to the Northwest to meet guys. The ponytail sounds off-putting, however. (No guy should have longer hair OR wear more makeup than I do.)