I cannot believe I have never mentioned that I once worked in a college dorm. For two whole years! In the nineties, when people unironically wore high-waisted jeans and overalls and flannel! With lots of future sluts of America!
This job I had, being a resident advisor, had one purpose: if someone is doing something fun or awesome, stop it. Immediately. That was my job.
It taught me a lot. Like, for instance, how parenting is a lot like taking care of drunken college freshmen.
Oh, it also taught me the most important lesson I’ve ever learned in my life: there is no bad time for pizza.